Growing Up

“We’re adults now. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?” – Grey’s Anatomy

I’m not a huge Grey’s Anatomy fan, but I was watching Desperate Housewives on Lifetime (which is several seasons behind, might I add), and really didn’t care to find the remote and change the channels when it went off. Knowing it wasn’t a terrible show, and able to tell from the opening that it was one of the first few episodes, I decided to leave it on. I believe an episode into it, I heard this quote, which really resounded with me.

I’ve been thinking a lot about responsibility, adulthood, leaving the nest, and starting my life as most of my peers have done. Being an only child, and sharing a house with my pretty lax mother, I am having trouble with the concept of moving out – even at the age of 21 and knowing that I will soon be graduating from college. She is not trying to get me to move out; actually, it’s quite the opposite. I have to admit, it’s a pretty sweet deal in that all I have to do is go to school (I would assume make good grades, but I am driven to do that regardless) and she provides a house, my car, food, and everything else I may need.

Of course, going to school twice a week and laying around the house for the rest of the time began to make me feel a bit like a bum, so I decided I would finally get a job (not that I wanted a job, mind you, but because I felt like it was time for me to do something with my time). I’ve been reluctantly at Walmart for nearing a year now. In that time, the only big purchase I have made is that I completely upgraded my computer, costing $800. I still need to replace the monitor and speakers, but that would be at maximum, $300. The rest of the money, I save. For what? I’m not entirely sure. (Though, I am considering getting an e-reader.)

Perhaps the real reasoning why this quote struck me as it did was because I was lying on the couch, at one in the afternoon, still in my pajamas, playing Pokémon Platinum. Granted, I was still recovering from my wisdom teeth removal.

It’s just a striking realization to know that I will soon be graduating. After graduation, I will be eligible for a career (believe me, cashier is not a career). I would feel odd being an elementary school teacher and still living at home with my mother, too, so I would need to move out. If I moved out, I would have to have someone with me, because I get severely depressed when left alone for vastly extended periods of time. What would that mean for me and Zach? Would we get married after graduation or would we end up waiting? This is an inevitable chain of events which I am highly reluctant to set off. I know it’s just a matter of time before it happens, though.

When did I become an adult? Is adulthood something brought upon by age, by the feeling of responsibility, or is it something else? How do I make it stop? If I could stop it, would I really want to?

All of that being said, I am still reminded of a quote from Dr. Who (which I haven’t ever really watched, I just happened upon the quote years ago and fell in love):

“What’s the point of growing up if we can’t act childish sometimes?”